Friday, January 30, 2009

Discrimination!!!

If he is late for class, he told,
"Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late, then the bus was late.

If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, " Has he escaped from the Zoo?"

If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.

When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, "Come on man! Don't be a girl".

If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".

If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".

If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".
But if a girl gets a big rank,... Still got 33! Reservation.

If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,
And if there are no girls, he says,there is no class today.

If a girl does not answer during a viva, then atleast 'smile' says the examiner.
But when a boy does not answer," better luck next time".

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Getting bored..?? Come on...

What internet savvy people do to charge themselves after getting exhausted in front of computer? I do this...!!!

1:39 PM Mansi: mr laheru
me: oh gorgeous Ms. Mansi
Mansi: hahahaha
so whats up mr reporter
1:40 PM tell
me: i thought u r busy so ...
Mansi: hahahaha
me: didnot ping u
Mansi: what so busy??
me: so did not ping u babe
Mansi: okok
dude
me: oh sweetie... u r so sweet.. ;)
1:41 PM Mansi: enough of flirting
u have S...iya na
me: oh.. is it flirting ?
1:42 PM i did not know...
Mansi: hahaha
:)
me: u r sweet n like honey... so i said u honey....
lol
1:43 PM Mansi: thanx
m honoured
me: my pleasure...
do u know one more honour i want to give u
that u r KAMINI
1:44 PM and the definition u could find in my status...
;)
Mansi: hahaha
but have many flawsw
flaws
me: what
1:45 PM in u ?
i m not agree
13 minutes
1:58 PM Mansi: ok
chalega
1:59 PM me: arre yaar... kaam kar lo... busy ho to kyun reply kr rahi ho...
Mansi: nahi
aisa kuch nahi
2:00 PM me: Are you NOT busy ?
2:01 PM Mansi: yaa m not
me: then y so slow in reply..
Mansi: brain is not working
me: oh my GOD
u r drunked in office ?
2:02 PM oh...
now dont say no...
2:03 PM Mansi: nahi
m a teetotller
2:04 PM wrong spelling
me: . Teetotaler
Mansi: but bhavnaon ko samajho
me: right spelling..
Mansi: thankyou
me: yess.. i know bhavnaaein.. shradhdhhaaein...
sab ko achchhe se samajta hun
2:05 PM Mansi: and s….yaein
me: oooopss...
maar dala reeeeeeee
wo naam sunke mere dil ke taarrrrr....
ask kya hota hai
2:10 PM Mansi: hahaha
kya hota hai
me: now u guess
2:11 PM Mansi: taar bajte hain
dil main gutar bajta hai
guitar
me: arrey mera dil kya guitar hai ?
2:12 PM Mansi: u only said guess
me: yess... to guess bhi thoda... reasonable rakho bhai... recession chal raha hai...
Mansi: hahaha
toh??
me: mere dil ke taar me khun badhne lagta hai...... this is reasonable....
2:13 PM lol
aur mera blood pressure high ho jaata hai...
Mansi: hahaha toh
???
2:14 PM me: bas to uska naam mere liye blood presure ka reason hai...
lol
2:15 PM Mansi: hahaha
me: hey... this is not kuldeep this is s…iya itself...
2:16 PM pahechana?
Mansi: hahahaha
u know na what u r
me: if u r interested and like kuldeep then u can go ahead....
Mansi: kamina
me: lol
Mansi: hahahahahahahaha
:)
me: ;)
2:17 PM tell me one thing sach me agar wo yahan per online hogi to how will u recognise her ?
Mansi: pata nahi
2:18 PM me: then i am ......
:)
u r chatiin wid .......
:)
Mansi: kuldeep
me: S…iya darshini
2:21 PM Mansi: haha
theek hai
me: r u free then i offer u one thing
Mansi: what??
me: now this is kuldeep again
2:22 PM lets go for hip hop
Mansi: theek hai
me: lets go for hip hop
2:23 PM Mansi: what hip hop
me: I am a disco dancer.... Zindgi mera gaanaa.....
Mansi: hahaha
me: to jhumo.... naacho
Mansi: theek hai
paagal ho gaye ho tum
2:24 PM me: arrey...
if someone offers u to go to a disk .. does it mean he is paagal ho gaya hai ?
:P
:P
Mansi: nahi
2:25 PM re
me: to fir aaaooo..... muj ko sataaoooo.... disko me aaaooo... jhumo aur gaaoo....
lolzzzzzz
lolzzzz
2:27 PM Mansi: hahaha
theek hai
6 minutes
2:33 PM Mansi: kahan agye??
me: Disk ke paas mangva raha tha
Mansi: haha
2:34 PM but elivates
i like that only
me: yeah... me too..... same here.... ;) but today there is a dress code.... do u have black slvless top n bleak jins?
2:35 PM I dont have black jins... t shrt i hav
now this is d problem...
Mansi: i dont have blacks at all
me: ooh...
then.... m tryin someother disk....
2:36 PM cloud nine
yaa there's not any dress code today...
lol
Mansi: nahi
2:37 PM me: oops....then next week...
Mansi: nahi
nahi
aaj
2:38 PM me: oohoo mata
fir i need to buy a t shirt for u first
Mansi: hahaha
theek
i don't mind
good
neways that will be a birthday gift
me: n u need to purchase a jeans for me
2:39 PM Mansi: but i need a good top from globus or shoppers stop
no jenas
jeans
me: yaa... u hv to purchase a black one for me.....
Mansi: nahi
2:40 PM u have to get me a top
me: arrey haan baba...
i ll do it... n u do for me...
well wts ur b'day?
2:41 PM Mansi: why should i tell u??
me: arrey
kyun nahi
2:42 PM Mansi: it is on 2nd feb
hahahaha
n ill turn a year older
:(
me: n wts ur year.....
73 ?
Mansi: hahaha
me: 1973?
Mansi: woh nahi bataungi
me: i know ....
2:44 PM Mansi: whta you know??
me: yaa.. a gal wud not reavel her real b'date n a boy wud not her real salary.... but u had asked me my salary.... n i hd said it... n real feagure....
Mansi: and increase thetyping speed
me: i m very fast
Mansi: a aboy and his salary
not her
m 1986
born
me: arrey yaaa....
thanks
2:45 PM Mansi: hahaha
me: ye jukaaam ne maar dala hai
Mansi: hahahahahahah
me: okies.. so... today at elivate
Mansi: yes
but my top
???
2:46 PM me: whole night... ya it ll be done.. but wont u feel ashamed to change it in front of me ?
Mansi: hahaha
u na f*****kr
me: ha hah ha
u no..
i love galiyaann...
2:47 PM aur do .. char aane do
Mansi: nahi
me: aii... aata hun thodi der me...mera ek mobile gum gaya hai.. wo purchase kar ke aata hun... milte hei ek chhote se break ke baad....
2:48 PM kahin jaaiega nahi....
isi channel par
fir milte hai
tab tak ke liye
Mansi: byeeeeeee
mobile gum??
me: Shukriya, khuda hafiz, shabba khair, b bye. tk crr... love u... miss u....evrythn...
yaa
2:49 PM one of my cells gum
gujju wala roaming wala cell
Mansi: hahahaha
chalo byee
see u tomorrow
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
:)
me: thodi der me aata hun yaar.... not tomorrow.....
Mansi: theek hai
agarmain nahi mili toh
me: mai aise chhodne wala nahi.....
2:50 PM aaj raat ko elivate...
bhul gaiiiii??
bhul gai?
lol
;)

Friday, January 23, 2009

ChaKS DeS InDiaSSS

I got to know from one of

my friends

NOT A STORY BUT A
TRUE INCIDENT

An Indian man walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to
India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Indian man hands over the keys
and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Indian replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...
This is why India is shining

Cheers

;)


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bachnaa Ae Hasiino...


I did not have work on that day and just passing time with my colleagues in my all time happening office. But it was a bit different and a bore session as not a single ‘fille’ was around. So we two bluff-masters me and one of my colleagues, Varun, who also is having his name in the list of my good friends, pushed our ghost like minds to do something very different. But the day itself was strangely bored and not a single vanishing idea was getting dropped into our minds.

I thought I should have a cup of coffee in CCD (my favourite) and then a movie but again the same problem, no company of hot and sweet chicks. :( Anyway if you want something deadly then no one can stop you in getting it. And I was having that burning desire. I was about to leave my office and my phone started singing.... I don't know why, I don't love to see you cry (Ring tone of my cell phone. Enrique song- one of my fevorite singers) !!! It was Tamanna (name changed), the contagious, gorgeous, mesmerizing, beautiful, charming, sexy but a very egoistic and an inconsiderate girl who knows and loves just how to make wallets of opposite sex empty. Something stroked my mind and I was very happy! My burning desire was about to get fulfill. I told her on phone to meet me at CP (a happening place in Delhi).

She was there on time and waiting for me at the spot. It was known that she would ask me for a treat (for the promotion that I got in period of the recession). And she did. I took her to La Meridien (a five star hotel & restaurant). I was observing her and I saw a glow of happiness in her eyes. She was, really enjoying the moment that she had got a new ‘Bakra’, unaware of the fact who was going to become a fool on that pleasant evening.

It was 7.30 when we entered in the grand hotel.

Me: What would you like to have honey?
Tanu (Tamanna's 'short form'): (clicking her left eye) Chicken soup!

I ordered then a chicken soup for her and for me it was Haywards 5000 (I am not a teetotaler!) to order. As it was a party from my side, she had become very hungry!

Tanu: Fish fry, dal fry, 2 rumali rotis, pasta salad. Itna ho jaane do, ye pura ho jaane ke baad fir order karungi. (after having this, I’ll order else)
Waiter: Ok ma’am, as you wish.

The order was only for her. I ordered my vegetarian dish. After having that, she again wakes up. She calls waiter.

Waiter: Ma’am!
Tanu: 2 butter naan and one plate jeera rice. Kuldeep, you ?
Me: Rice.
Tanu: One half plate more (rice).

I was wondered!

I saw on her face that she was trying to read my expressions whether it was changing. I saw that she was confused, seeing me cool and calm. In fact I asked her if she wanted some hard drink but she refused and asked for a cup of ice cream after the meal.

At last when waiter came, carrying bill, it was her turn to get shocked. My hand went into my pocket to get my wallet out to pay the bill amount.

Me: Oh my GOD!!!
Tanu: What happened?
Me: Yaar!!
Tanu: What happened?
Me: It’s not there. I forgot my wallet in my bag at home.
Tanu: What?????
Me: Haan yaar (Yes, it’s true dear).

She was in dilemma.

Me: Tanu, do one thing please… Pay it now. Next treat from my side…

I was unable to read her face expressions as it was getting changed very fast.

Me: Tanu!
Tanu: Yeah, ok. How much is it?

I placed the bill in her hand. She was stunned. It was Rs. …... I am not gonna tell you the figure. Guess it and write your comment. If your answered figure would not be accurate but at least closer then you’ll get a chance to have a treat from me in the same hotel ‘La Meridien’!!! ;)

Well it was really the unsurpassed time to see such a haughty, self-centered and egocentric girl in this miserable condition. She paid the bill amount. I was holding the feeling which she used to experience after making boys fool.

After three days I confessed. It was like an after shock effect for her. I got to know from some of my sources that now, before going on date with any guy, she checks their pockets first…!!

After that wonderful date (for me!!), I tried to invite her for a party but I did not get affirmative answer…

Moral of the story: Gals, don’t make boys fool otherwise you’ll have to pay for it because I love girls but hate who is opportunist. So….
Bachanaa ae hasiiino… Lo mei aa gayaa…. ;)