Never lie to a woman

A man called home to his wife and said, 'Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends. ​ We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I'v been wanting, ​ so could you please pack enough Clothes for aweek and set out my rod and fishing box we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up' 'Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.'

​The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but ‬‬being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, 'Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish.But why didn't you pack my new blue silk Pajamas like I asked you to Do?'

You'll love the answer...

The wife replied, 'I did. They're in your fishing box!!!'

If you were a Chinese and your name is...

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital then whyevery one is on the way to hospital? then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree .
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Oh .....God.......

An Egyptian Interview

Reporter: Hi
Egyptian: Hello

Reporter: Do u speak English
Egyptian: Berfect

Reporter: Do u mind if I interview u
Egyptian: No, I don't have a mind

Reporter: What's your name?
Egyptian: Taha

Reporter: Sex?
Taha: I love it

Reporter: oh no, I meant male or female?
Taha(yelling): what do u sink?

Reporter: it's just for the sake of the report. Never mind... male....
Taha: No... I like female

Reporter: How do u find life here in Egypt ?
Taha: Egybt..Very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food..byramidz

Reporter: Oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u like in ur country?
Taha: Byramids, nice wezar, nice food

Reporter: DO YOU WORK?
Taha: Yas, when I am not buzy..

Reporter: What do u think about the traffic problem in Egypt ?
Taha: Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did a circle street and za mehwar street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant come back!!!

Reporter: What about the economic problems in Egypt ?
Taha: I do not undurztand what u say

Reporter: I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt ?
Taha: Egypt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..a lot of water..and we have byramidz

Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?
Taha: No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend I know make money at home..and he go to brizon.. if u make money at home.. you will go to brizon

Reporter: let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do u have a lot of money?
Taha: me? ...Not a lot…..but I eat and drink Alhamdulelah?

Reporter: Then where does all the money go?
Taha: Guvurment

Reporter: And what does the government do with the money?
Taha: Zey Build circle street, mehwar street and make all streets one way

Reporter: well , Ok...Do u vote?
Taha: What duz zat mean?

Reporter: Do u choose your president
Taha: Who, Mubarak?

Reporter: yes
Taha(nervously) : I didn't give my voice..But if I was. I will give him my voice

Reporter: Why him?
Taha: Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane

Reporter: But there r no wars right now
Taha: But if we have war..u see?...we know we will have a very good airoplane in it

Reporter: what about the last 26 years?
Taha: I got marry..and have Ahmed an d Amira..and……….

Reporter: No, I meant Mubarak.
Taha: He also marry… and have…

a
Reporter (interrupting) :No, I meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years
Taha: He build circle street, mehwar street and make all streets one way

Reporter: Thank you very much for ur time Mr. Taha
Taha: No broblem, only 10 bounds

Reporter: I never said i will pay u for this
Taha: ok ok…. Zanks a lot